“Put your mind in gear before you put your mouth in motion. ———–Barbara FifeThat can be taken both literally…think before we bite, which is always very good advice, but also thinking about what we are saying before we say it. Why are we talking about it? Are we looking for validation-and if so, is other people’s validation really what we want to build our foundation of happiness on? We can be “hip and cool and ‘in'” one day and yesterday’s news another. A lot of lifetime members struggle with this because they crave the attention they got-the WOW factor they experienced-being newly thin. Let’s face it, it’s fun to get noticed and it feels good to be complemented. That’s great but if we need those complements to feel whole, we are bound to run into some heartache. After losing weight and some time goes by, the complements will slow down because others become used to the “new you”, the thin you. No one notices anymore unless you GAIN a few pounds!!! Ahhhhhh!! It’s an interesting thing to step back and think about because it makes sense. You all know that I love talking and writing about our feelings even more than the next guy, but I think asking ourselves what we are truly looking for out of it might help us to have a firmer grip on reality. By talking about our challenges with the right people we CAN find answers, we CAN feel better and it CAN help us to work through things in our own minds-but notice the “CAN”. I say this because it doesn’t always happen. Sometimes we just want to be heard, yet our friends/family chose to tell us what we are doing wrong. BIZZZ-wrong answer! Or how about when they agree with us when what we really want them to do is disagree with us so we feel better! You know what I’m talking about! We need to be careful that we don’t derive our sense of self from what others say or don’t say (“Damn, I thought that outfit looked great and no one said a word!”) or think (and who really knows what anyone really thinks anyway?? By what they say? We know better than that!) because it’s not always going to be what we want to hear.———-My point here is that help along the way is invaluable but ultimately this is a lone journey. Sometimes we can talk it to death and all we’ve really done is make the issue more of a reality or problem than it was to begin with. There will be times when we think we have a challenge or this is too hard, that we can just stop ourselves in our own tracks and say “NO! Evil Twin-this is not too hard and I know I CAN do it” and that becomes the end of it. Just because you used to believe or think something doesn’t mean you have to believe it now. As you are changing and growing and know more, you can stand up to that negative voice and shut her down by yourself without letting it go any further. Remember the quote I’ve written about a thousand times…”What we think about is what we bring about.” We want to do our best not to make a reality out of the things we don’t want and sometimes talking too much about them can do that. Stand strong!!On Thursday of last week I went to a luncheon for our local real estate association. On my way, I drove by a church with one of those mar-key signs in front and it said “Have you prayed about it as much as you’ve talked about it?”. Hahahaha! It was one of those moments when I felt the universe was talking directly to me!! How exciting!! So rather than forget it or dismiss it, I made some quick notes and promised myself I would write a blog and share it as soon as I had time. Hope someone else out there can relate to this the way I did!!! Enjoy your Sunday-it’s a beautiful one-make the most of it!!!
The Journey Of Self Love