Raising my boys, there have been a few “off limit” words at our house besides the obvious profanity and rudeness. We try not to say “hate” and we don’t call people “fat”. The word fat sends chills down my spine and it’s a feeling that unless you’ve felt fat before yourself, you may not understand it’s deep reaching connotation.
“Fat” is a relative term but doesn’t matter if it’s true or not: If you feel like you are, it’s your reality and it’s accompanied by a whole mess of other emotions–not a single one positive. Although most of us probably don’t use the term out loud to describe others, I suspect we use it all too often in our minds when thinking of ourselves. Curious, huh? Off limits to label others or say out loud because it’s mean and hurtful but acceptable to use in our inner world to think and feel about ourselves.
I’m a firm believer that “What we think about is what we bring about”, therefore I’m challenging all of us to fight going down this emotional path when the thought of “I’m fat” starts to enter our minds. Allowing our self to “feel fat” can ruin all the good going on right now if we let it. Wearing the cutest outfit or being in the most exotic vacation location or being with all the people you love or just a normal Monday like today can be, and for many of us has been, overshadowed by negativity and shame if we allow the “I feel fat” tape to play in our minds. It creeps in and leaves us feeling sad, depressed and zapped of joy. It doesn’t matter if we are or we aren’t—we ARE plenty of other things besides our weight on a scale. We can focus on those other things that allow us to feel good right now. To put our lives off until we get to some magic weight that we may or may not achieve is crazy but SO EASY to do. Fight it. Fight the negative self talk that starts to whisper “my butt looks so big”, “my arms are flabby” or “why can’t I be thinner” and replace it with gratitude. The body that we speak so disrespectfully about all too often is nature’s gift to us to use for a limited time to experience this beautiful life. Yes, we should honor it by nourishing it with healthy food, moving it and treating it in healthful ways and we are trying to do that, but we should also honor it with our thoughts. Just as other humans can feel it when they are treated mean or hurtful, our inner self can feel it too. A gratitude list is a great way to pull us out of that haze of negative self talk and make us see how wonderful our life really is TODAY. Perception is reality. Those arms are the arms that hug your family and make them feel loved and cared for. That butt and those thighs have successfully gotten you everywhere you’ve wanted to go in this life so far. “Thinner” is a state of mind and when you start feeling good you will find yourself making good decisions to go along with it. Afterall, when you feel good, there isn’t the need to turn to food so often for reasons other than hunger.
Don’t let your mind run wild and torture you. You wouldn’t treat others that way. Dig as deep as you need to in order to find the gratitude. Eliminate the “feeling fat” mentality and replace it with one joyful day at a time starting TODAY.
See you at the meetings!
Terra Ayres, Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.